Stars Wars Racism or George the Racist.

•January 15, 2013 • Leave a Comment

Ok so today at work I had the strangest of epiphanies. If you look at the fact that Jango Fett was a black man, All the original cloned soldier were clones from him then it is quite easy to prove the following statements:

All clones are slaves to an empirical government.

All clones are actually black

All clones are in actuality made to dress in white

And the icing on the cake…..

They are called STORM TROOPERS!

Just saying……….

Second instance of racism in Star Wars

The emperor takes a free white kid, turns him to the darkside and then dresses him in black due to the fact he is now a slave to the empire. racist racist racist

(Disclaimer: The above is totally tongue in cheek and most of it is an obvious reach to create some ideologies purely for the sake of stupid inter-work conversation.)

Didn’t get it done or (Oh how I suck at Motivation)

•January 14, 2013 • Leave a Comment

Below is a list I did back in March 2012 with comments from 2013.

Top ten things for 2012 in no particular order of importance!

  1. Sky Dive – Go with Adam for his birthday in August. If this falls through then Allan and I go before December 31st! -SMASHED IT- Was scary but done and done!
  2. Get a tattoo – Danni to do this soon as I get an idea what I want. Starting to look now in prep. -NOPE- Still a Clean Skin, didnt find anything worthy.
  3. Buy a house – Start sorting things out with regard to job, banks, etc. Also need to see if we can get Deanne back on part time at a minimum. -NO- Deanne still isnt interested in any commitment to this idea. Truth be told didnt really come up in the last few months as busy with other stuff.
  4. Consistent Profit at work. (No up week, down weeks) This is already in play. Focus on jobs at hand and have a strategy to make this work. Actually can start ticking the weeks here. MUST REMEMBER: Better is always achievable, no plateau’s. -SORT OF- Changing Job to remedy the issue of up and down. In short though failed fucking dismally at the actual goal. As always got good then slowly petered off, Got Isaac up in my face, Got good slowly petered off. Repeat repeat repeat blah blah
  5. Learn to play tighter poker – Play at least 5 hours of online every week. Try to play consistent tight aggressive and avoid to high V%IP in early positions as this is a HUGE leak. -Nope- New strategy, don’t play poker. Saves a lot more money.
  6. Lose 10kg starting now! Tomorrow 25th March is NOW! Breakfast is a meal, eat it. Coke is not a breakfast. -FAILED-
  7. Soda is a treat not water. Drink water/cordial in place of coke. Water bottles of cordial to take to work to drink all day. Coke is ok as long as you drink 2:1 ratio of water to coke. (No medical evidence, I make the blog I make the rules!) :) -VERY VERY FAILED-
  8. Eat healthier – Fruit and vege, not chips and chocolate. (well some junk food is ok. ;) -FAIL, WIN, FAIL Depending on week-
  9. Ride/walk/run at least combined 30 km in any given week. Weeks run Thursday to Wednesday.
  10. See family more. Organize dinners/bbq at least once a fortnight with Deanne’s family and my family alternate weeks. Perhaps rotate location based on people availability. -FAILED-

Ok so writing that was the easy part. Now to implement the strategies above! Here is hoping succeeding!

Continuing this post, it was very interesting to come across this as I wrote a post like this one this year as well but never uploaded it. The new one looked almost identical which just goes to show I know what I want to achieve, I just suck at doing it. Well another year another attempt I guess. POWER!

Back from the toilet.

•July 5, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Text from the toilet.
iPad and I are hanging out in the shitter coz its a comfortable seat. Truth be told I might have actually just mopped myself into the small room and found I had left my iPad here or maybe I did bring it with me and I am actually dropping a number 2 as I type this. You decide….

In other news, yes we did go skydiving for anyone that’s interested. It was fucking insane! Mind totally blown by the experience. Since then I have taken up archery again but not shooting FITA anymore, I’m now shooting ABA with the Southwest Bowmen Inc* club in Capel. Great group of people so far, please note I have only shot there once so far so not really a good measure of the level of good people. :)

Thanks to the awesomeness of my boss rostering me off on Thursday/Friday for the whole of July Looks like I won’t be shooting much club stuff this month anyways. It fucking annoys me that work gets in the way of life. Like honestly, why the fuck do we let it. How great would a world with work fitting around life be?

Anyways thats a long rant and ideology for another time….

Moved up the date on Skydiving!

•April 7, 2012 • Leave a Comment

May 2nd or 3rd now. 6 people going including Isaac, Adam, Myself, Allan and 2 randoms!

Scared out of my mind but in a good way!

Quick Book Post

•April 5, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Ok so just finished reading the second book by Caesar Campbell. Its a great complementary read to the first one with very much the same story line about outlaw motocycle clubs in Australia. I also read a book called “The Prez” which is another tale from the Outlaw side of Australia. I think its interesting that a lot of the belief system of mateship and loyality that they talk about rings true with myself. I have never felt as connected as a group than when we used to do bad stuff together as teens. Obviously not on the same scale as outlaw clubs but the mateship from doing things on the wrong sides of the track is something that is impossible to convey to someone that has always lived as law abiding citizens.

Anyways have a read if you want to read some 60/40 fiction creation that is a fun read but at the same time quite shocking.

Panic and Anxiety

•April 3, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Tonight on facebook my older brother linked the following picture:

It got me thinking about the demons in the closet I lived with for many years without even knowing I wasn’t alone. I tried to think of the first time I suffered what I later came to know was a panic attack and I can remember the first two like it was yesterday. Both of them were the year I turned nine. The first ever one was my mother dropping me at school and I wouldnt get out of the car. I had no reason not to, I just recall this feeling of complete dread and an overcoming need to remain exactly where I was seated. I’m sure many kids have told there mothers, “I dont want to go to school today.” but this was more than that, this was a feeling that if I did very bad things would happen. Obviously having a great mum she took me home that day. (Love you mum)

The second one I remember was the same year. My parents had headed up to Geraldton on the day and I was in class when I suddenly got this idea in my head that they had a car accident. I broke out and sweats and starting crying, I told my teacher, “Miss Thompson” what I thought was happening and she told me to stop acting crazy and get on with my work. I contuied to flip out and so she sent me to the headmaster for disiplary action. That might sound harsh when I write it here but please remember this is 1985 and mental illnesses like panic attacks and such werent really understood.

I dont recall any other instances in daylight but I can recall an almost daily battle within my own mind at bedtime. I would climb into bed and battle all the demons in my head until I was so tired I fell asleep. As a youngster I dont recall these to much but as I hit my teens this problem ruled my night time. I’d just like to quickly say here that if any kid reads this and is suffering from anxiety and panic please, please seek some help! I battled night time anxiety and panic attacks without even sharing it with my family or friends for many years before I ended up putting them in in clouds through the use of marijuana, a treatment plan that while effective while using leads to some much more serious supression issues later on in life.

So jumping forward a couple of years, I smoked a lot of weed for a lot of reasons from the age of 14 till well into my late 20’s. I would be lying if I didn’t admit here I was an addict to the weed. I dont care what people say about addiction protocols in relation to weed. Psychological or physical addiction is just a term that gets banded about much to much. Yes it helped with my night anxiety but you know what else it did? Turned me into a drug addict. Anyways we are getting off topic here so let me return to what this post is about.

I used weed to get to sleep every night for over 10 years and it worked great, my biggest anxiety problems began when I decided I had the power to control my weed addiction. I can honestly say I had almost forgotten my issues with anxiety and panic attacks for all the years I was a stoner. Ok so I quit weed and all of a sudden I am getting nervous shakes, insomina, shallow sleep, night terrors etc. I tell my doctor and he tells me its not drug dependancy, its anxiety. I blatantly deny suffering from a mental illness, it has to be the weed. I fight for a few weeks then I pick up the bong again and BOOM, I am fine. Must be the weed. I quit again and same symtoms return so I go see a different doctor and he tells me the same thing the first one does except this time he prescribes me some anti anxiety meds. (note: The first doctor wanted to do that too but I was in denial of mental illness). I decline and decide to battle it myself, it is at this point that I would like to thank two groups of people.

1) My friends! Especially Jarrad, Rob, Miles and the girls. Without me ever telling them they were always there as friends. I am pretty sure some of them knew I was alittle different from normal.

2) My parents! After finding me shaking and freaking out in the corner of a room in my house on their farm I was minding for them they just locked the gates, closed the farm and took me home to their place so I had support and helped recreate my sense of reality. I can never thank them enough. I know I cost you alot of money, I stole from you, I used you and still you took me up in your arms and understood that I needed you. Oh and dad I am so sorry and feel a lot to blame for the rift that all the farm stuff caused between you and uncle Terry. I really hope one day you can both stand side by side and realise that love is the most important thing in this world. Its so very cliche but Money cant buy happiness, and love can cure all wounds.

I am now 35. I have a loving girlfriend, pets and a steady job. I have control of my life and I have learnt to let things flow. I would love to say I have found some miracle cure for anxiety and panic attacks but I havent other than that time seems to heal ones soul. I very rarely have attacks anymore and when I do they are much milder and less intrusive. Yes I still feel like shit for days after them and yes I still wish I didnt suffer from them but I did learn the most important rule if you suffer from this kind of illness and that is, “Talk about it.”

Panic and anxiety is always and I mean “ALWAYS!” worse if battled alone. By its very nature its something that if suffered alone can be crushingly debilitating. As a quick example I used to suffer from overwhelming feelings I was going to die and that there was nothing after death. I would just lay in my bed at night and freak out. I told my girlfriend about it one night and then next time it happened she curled up next to me and was telling me, “your fine, your not dying, breath, it will pass.” I have barely suffered one of those attacks since that night because I shared something that my mind was creating not reality.

Anyways this post when I read it back is a bit all over the place and I was going to just delete it but then I figure this is my life and as life rambles on so does writing about it. I hope someone reading this takes some of the advice or at the very least enjoys the read. :)

 

Night all

 

 

Adding Jeb Corliss to my Hero’s List.

•March 30, 2012 • 1 Comment

I’m adding this guy to my list of people that are true hero’s of mankind. Now before anybody jumps on the “But he is just a crazy asshole” I want to put it out there that it has nothing to do with the fact he wingsuits 2ft off the ground and pushes the limits of flight. The reason I am adding him is because he is always reaching for more. He’s wakes up every morning, rolls over and seizes the fact he is alive. I am sure even if he had never discovered Skydiving he would still be an incredible hero to have. 

Also I just watched the interview he did on the Australian seven tv show “Sunday Night” and I must say the way he articulates that he doesnt have a death wish proves the point that what he is doing has nothing to do with being careless with life, it proves he pushes the limits because as he said, “Life is just a collection of memories” which is very similar to the way I look back on my drug addiction years these days. I now think of those times as exactly that, a collection of memories that I will carry always.

I am not condoning drug use here but I’m sure people that have never done any mind bending substances think of them as bad, evil things that rob people of their health and life. I think you might be amazed that from the other side of the coin some of us did/do drugs in moderation for the high not unlike Jeb wanting to fly 2 feet off the deck. In the interview he says after he gets better from his crash he wants to do a touch and go on purpose. Crazy or just pushing the limits? I hope he doesn’t go the way of the heroin addict that pushes that one big last hit….

In closing that’s why he goes on the list. His attitude motivates me not to go wingsuit but just to live everyday like its a new video for the finite reel that is the experiences of life, Oh and to be totally truthful its pushing me to at least go jump out of a plane. :)

 
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.